[i]….what did you expect?[/i] [b]The Path of Blades[/b] is a free to play Steam game [i]whose marketing and title screen are plastered with AI art[/i]. [b]like [i]...what did I even expect? [/i] [/b] I don't know, I guess I was hoping for something a little more. For one thing, it's a [i]retro style first person fantasy action dungeon crawler[/i], a very specific genre that [b]I happen to be a big fan of.[/b] And [b]two..[/b] [i]uhhm[/i], there's no two. [b]that's the reason why I downloaded it.[/b] I got it for free and came with no expectations, [i]and I still feel disappointed.[/i] [b]sorry.[/b]
[b]Hey there, epic fantasy fans! listen to this epic narrative; [i]it will knock you off your feet. [/i] [/b] You see, [i]there's this nameless heroine trapped in a dungeon, and she finds a sword and a shield, and then,[/i] uhm, [i]she explores the dungeon, and tries to escape[/i] [spoiler].....that's it. [/spoiler] It's a simple premise, [i]yes[/i], but that's enough to get the game going. The exploration part kind of drags a bit, not only due to the intentional graphic limitations (which I'll get to later), but also the fact that [i]there's really not much to explore.[/i] There are no secrets, no items to collect, and [i]nine out of ten rooms are [b]completely empty anyway. [/b] [/i] That leaves us with the combat, which is [i]also[/i] rather underwhelming. It [i]is[/i] cool how you can wield two weapons at the same time, and there [i]is[/i] actually a decent amount of weapons to find [spoiler](including knives and axes)[/spoiler], but the combat itself is just [b]button mashing[/b]. Just spam the mouse buttons [i]non-stop[/i] and you'll win every battle [b]super easily, [i]barely any inconvenience at all. [/i] [/b] But WAIT!! [i]Who are you fighting??[/i]...just some guys. There's this one dude who looks like a 3D render of the limbless knight from [b]Monty Python[/b], there's the skeleton enemy from [b]Twilight Princess[/b], and there's a guy who looks like if [i]someone tried to model Cloud from FF VII from memory[/i] [spoiler].....that's it. [/spoiler] You literally just fight the same three dudes over and over again. Now, all of this might sound [i]passable[/i] (if not very very repetitive), but I haven't even gotten to the best part yet! [b]the bugzzzz!![/b] like, [i]one playthrough[/i], it wouldn't even let me take the sword at all, and I just had to fight everyone with [b]bare fists[/b]. Another time, I was completely [b]invincible[/b] for [i]whatever reason[/i]; standing there and taking every hit like a chump, and my health bar [b]wouldn't even budge[/b]. [spoiler](I even stepped directly into a fire trap -something that's supposed to kill you instantly- which did absolutely nothing)[/spoiler]. And yet another time, it was like [b]I was made out of glass[/b], taking [i]only one hit and [b]crumbling into pieces. [/b] [/i] All Cloud had to do was just [i]sneeze[/i] on me, and [b]I died in an instant.[/b] It's a weird mix; the gameplay isn't compelling enough to keep you playing, but the bugs (as funny as they might be at first) aren't entertaining enough to keep you interested either. [i]It all just feels very... [b]blahh. [/b] [/i]
On the production values side of things, [b]The Path of Blades[/b] can be accurately described in just one sentence: [spoiler]“.....well, that was a choice”[/spoiler]. Take a look at the visuals for a bit. ...[i]you might need to squint.[/i] For whatever reason, [i]to make it “retro” or whatever[/i], the developer put a heavy filter over everything, making the whole thing [b]feel like a launch title for the [i]SEGA Game Gear [/i] [/b]. Everything just looks like a giant blob of incomprehensible pixelated [i]vomit[/i]; making 3D exploration [b]nigh impossible.[/b] [i]Seriously[/i], I spent nearly twenty minutes looking for this certain door, which was [i]completely camouflaged[/i] in a mess of black and gray blocks. If you do get close enough to tell [i]what's what[/i], then you're just going to realize that the game reuses the same five or six props [i]over and over again[/i]. You're going to see [i]the same broken chest[/i] [spoiler](which you can't open or really do anything with)[/spoiler] like [b]a hundred times[/b], and the only thing placed in [i]otherwise dozens of empty rooms[/i] is [b]a single torch[/b]. Honestly, and I mean no disrespect to the developer, but I wouldn't be surprised if they got a pre-made fantasy asset pack on [b]Unreal Engine[/b] and threw that around before turning everything down to [b]Atari game levels[/b]. And while the game [i]is[/i] labeled as a first person adventure, you can play it in third person as well; which.. [i]which leads to something worth mentioning[/i]. The player character model is a woman [spoiler](GASP!!! this game is W O K E !!)[/spoiler] who -[i]to put it mildly[/i]- [b]doesn't really look like she's ready for combat[/b]. She's wearing this very suggestive [b]“armor”[/b] that reveals a lot of skin, and a paper thin mini-skirt that [i]blows upward[/i] and reveals her panties; [b]literally. every. single. time. [i]she. takes. a. step. [/i] [/b] like, I know you're trying to get the gamers drooling and [i]crap[/i], but [b]what's going to happen if she cuts herself?[/b] And the fact that everything else was given the bare minimum in terms of detail, but [i]this poor woman was given[/i] [b]pixelated boob physics[/b] [i]and a pair of fully rendered[/i].... uhm.. [b]cheeks[/b], makes me wonder if the guy took the model from some sort of [i]sus[/i] naughty game or something. [b]Unreal Engine wouldn't make that, right?? [i]they've got some sort of standards, right?? [/i] [/b] With all that said, and [i]I don't want to sound perverse in any way[/i], the game is much easier to play in third person; as [i]not only[/i] can you see where the enemies are at all times, but it ALSO shows you the enemy's health bar and stamina; [i]which gives you a [/i] [spoiler](tiny)[/spoiler] [i]goal to work towards[b] during the spam fights. [/b] [/i] As for [i]how the game sounds....[/i] [b]there's barely any of that.[/b] Aside from some background stock music, not one thing in the game makes [b]any sort of noise at all.[/b] No slices or cuts, no grunts or screams, [i]not even some sort of sad violin jingle for the game over screen.[/i] [b]It's just pure silence.[/b] And look, maybe I'm being kinda harsh, seeing how this game was made by like [i]one person[/i]; but you know what other fantasy game had very few people and no budget? [spoiler]Fighting Fantasy: The Warlock of Firetop Mountain, an underrated DS classic, and STILL my favorite retro first person fantasy action dungeon crawler.[/spoiler] Also, about that AI art thing... [i]uhm[/i], do you want me to make you a new title screen or something? I'm definitely not a professional or anything, but I've made a number of custom game cases for Steam titles, sporting my own art and such; so if that offer interests you, I could try giving it a go. [i]I can't promise anything, and I don't want to set any deadlines,[/i] but that still sounds like a cool job!
[b]The Path of Blades[/b] is kind of a hot mess. It claims to be a “[b]brutal, retro inspired dungeon game with modernized combat[/b]” [spoiler](that's literally what the game description says)[/spoiler], when all of those elements are [i]technically there[/i], but [b]in the loosest sense of the word[/b]. The fighting is pointlessly easy, the visuals are laughably unreadable, and it's an unpredictable buggy mess. [b]First attempt at making a game? [i]GGs. [/i] [/b]
