Teahouse of the Gods

[h1][i]“Rekindle an ancient romance…”[/i] – OK, I’m sold, she said. Oh, poor naïve girl…[/h1] Short story: I was left severely disappointed. And you can read the long story down below. Now, a very important note before we start with the actual review: Teahouse of the Gods is this type of story that you either hate or love – no in-between. Even though my own experience was negative, other people found the game very enjoyable, even brilliant. So, instead of just reading what others have to say, play the demo first. It will give you the general idea of what you get in the full version (except for the romance and its problems). [h1]"I love you, with and without time or place."[/h1] [b]TL;DR for pros: beautiful descriptions of Chinese traditions and culture, interesting personalities of the main cast (with some reservations), mouthwatering dishes, great attention to environmental protection, Chinese phrases in dialogues, LGBTQA+ friendly, many choices, an easy-to-understand stats system, and very meta lore.[/b] [list] [*] Some moments were honestly good – the author is brilliant at writing about Chinese traditions and culture, for example. You dive right into the rich story of China and when you get past the initial culture shock, you are treated to some of the most beautiful myths; [*] Many interesting characters with fleshed out personalities. You get to spend at least some time with almost all of them; [*] Do not play the game if you are hungry. No joking, food descriptions here are just next level and get an abundance of attention (sometimes even too much); [*] Environment is the core motive of the whole story. The game talks about our negligence towards nature, which is an important part of our life that we, sadly, often forget about it; [*] Three options to choose from in terms of language: if you know Chinese well, make your character a fluent speaker and enjoy special dialogues. Or go for the middle ground and get some bits that you can easily translate with Google. Or you can always be that clueless foreigner and speak English and English only; [*] Romance anyone you like – [spoiler]almost all[/spoiler] your partners are open for any options, including one poly. How good the romance will be is another story, though; [*] Not all choices are meaningful, but they help you shape your character’s personality well enough. For the most part. The stats are also very easy to navigate; [*] Stylish heaven and programming in hell. Be ready for the craziest things. [/list] [h1]“What does it say about your century, that the epic monsters have become continents of garbage instead of mythological beasts?”[/h1] [b]TL;DR for cons: very questionable writing style that does not go well with the story flow which is jumpy at best and very inconsistent at worst. Many things you do have zero affect on anything and serve just as a background that is easily forgotten. The same goes for people around your character, even the main cast that I praised in the previous section. Romantic options are set in stone and cannot be changed, so offer very little actual choice. Several coding errors and grammar/vocabulary mistakes.[/b] [list] [*] Hit-or-miss writing. I do not like styles that favor short sentences and repetitions. I see more than enough of them in essays of my elementary level students. And the strangest part is that the author actually CAN write beautiful long paragraphs presented in an elaborate way. So I just do not understand why others are so… underwhelming. You will also encounter some mistakes and errors; [*] Very inconsistent story flow. I will be short and blunt here – this part is the weakest in the whole book. There are a lot of watered-down descriptions between the actions, while the actions themselves are too fast-paced most of the time. As I have said before, there are genuinely good scenes that were interesting to explore. However, there were way more that ended abruptly and left a lot of questions. And last chapters feel rushed to a fault. One more problem: jumping between scenes. You are in a restaurant with Qin? Well, do not be surprised if next second you find yourself in the forest with A’Li. Or shopping with somebody. Or doing literally anything else anywhere in the region. Sometimes, it felt like I was reading ten stories at once that were connected just by the main character and one of their friends. [*] Too many places, too many people, too many events. And most are generally insignificant. And why are we forced to spend so much time with Xingtu? I stated my dislike for them several times and yet still had to go to many places with this person and deal with their attitude. And enjoy it??? [*] As a result of the previous point, criminally little time is given to some very important characters. For example, Qin is barely even there after the event with [spoiler]pandas[/spoiler]. She appears only when it is convenient for the plot. [spoiler]The King of Hell? Well, he is grumpy, but a good guy in general. But what else? What is your character’s opinion about him? Do you even have anything but a shallow understanding of his actions and personality? The Origin of the Universe? Oh, he has a crazy fashion style. And he likes changing accent. That’s it. But the main offender is Xingtu – there is SO much build-up for them being a possible villain that goes to NOTHING! Literally nothing!! Argh!!![/spoiler] Instead, everyone is constantly eating something, which, for some reason, gets more attention than the crazy things going around them; [*] Unfulfilling and limited romance. There are three options and all three of them are locked in very specific ways. You have an ancient being who is your past lover and who still loves you unconditionally [spoiler]oh, sorry, there is actually one "small" condition - you can't be you[/spoiler] – and she is always a woman. You have a fox spirit who is cute and bashful and sees you as nothing but a friend. [spoiler]AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING BUT A FRIEND TO HIM!!! Because he is already in love with Victoria. Why A’Li is even offered as a romantic option is beyond me; to say that I found his route wanting is an understatement. [/spoiler] And he is always a man. You also have a local businessperson who is tricky and devilish and wants to date you for some unknows reason. And they are always a nonbinary [spoiler]who doesn't know how to love[/spoiler]; [*] And the worst crime – extremely abrupt and unsatisfactory ending. The journey was good while it lasted, but you get next to nothing when it finishes. You move somewhere for 20 chapters, accumulate a lot of lore and hints and suspicions, prepare for an epic battle, and then receive only half of what was promised if not less. Are you happy? [/list] [h1]"That's how life is—sad, but some songs are sad and beautiful, right? There's beauty in the evanescence of our lives, too.”[/h1] I tried to like Teahouse of the Gods - I gave it all my heart even before I started playing. However, in turn I got only a strange mush of…something. Was it because of the confusing story flow? Or questionable writing? Or maybe my failed romance affected my attitude towards the game? So, in the end, I settled on the negative review. It saddens me because there are seriously awesome cultural bits in the game. And the ideas about nature and its protection reminded me of Princess Mononoke and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, two of my most favorite movies. But ultimately, there was too little pay off to my efforts, which, in turn, left me too frustrated to overlook all the shortcomings. However, I once again recommend giving the demo a go. Judging by other reviews, there is a good chance that you will have a completely different experience. [h1][url=http://store.steampowered.com/curator/32296668-Casual-Game-Reviews/] More reviews on our Curator Page[/url][/h1]

Someones gotta lay it down, Halfway through, your stats that you worked on get nuked back to around 50%. I don't know if this is a bug as the story beat that happens implies it's intentional. If so, that's wild. My entire play style went from mind/environment to body only because suddenly body was my highest stat at 53% and there wasn't enough time or opportunity to re-build the other two. Here are your romance options: A god who will love you no matter what, [spoiler] as long as you agree to erase who you are and be the mountain spirit you reincarnated as that the god ACTUALLY loved, hah did you think they wanted YOU? SILLY HUMAN [/spoiler] A tortured soul fox god with a sweet heart, [spoiler] who only will ever see you as their mentor mountain spirit, or be reminded of a sexually creepy clone version of the dead mountain spirit that traumatised them who surprise, looked exactly like you. But don't worry, the fox boy is also in love with the god who loves mountain spirit you, and you can coax that god into getting into a poly relationship even though the god gives NO ♥♥♥♥♥ about fox boy. How would you like to be cucked by two gods? [/spoiler] A memelord rich person [spoiler] who has no concept of love and cannot feel it, who used to ♥♥♥♥ sexually creepy clone you as a friends with benefit thing after having known them since they were a kid, and is working with them in their evil plans, but I'm sure you can fix them. [/spoiler] The story goes from grounded in the setting, to memes, to grounded again. That's fine if you're okay with that, I found it very disorienting vs a grounded story with memes and funny moments spread throughout. There's a lion who is basically a dog, you can pet the dog, you can hug the dog, that's pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥ cool I'd say. Listen all right I'll be the only one to tell you the truth, the real hard truth. The author wrote a really excellent book, but clearly had a story to tell regardless of what you want that story to be. I am judging this as a choose your own adventure game, not as a non-interactive book. It misses the mark on choice and player agency, if this were a book I'd say go buy a hard copy from your local mom and pop bookstore and support small business and talented authors. You will have a very hard time failing anything you do unless you dump water on your motherboard, because that's not the point, the author wants you to read their story. I selected an option that said I was bad at math, and in the next moment my boss was commending me on my excellent financial skills. For the record that choice lowered my finance skill, from DEFAULT BECAUSE I NEVER TRAINED IT. Your major options are be bad or don't be bad, some people would say that's enough, some people need to read Golden Rose Book One and rethink that. Your human character accepts everything that is happening to them pretty easily, because well, we can't have the plot slowed down by too much of that "humanity" ♥♥♥♥. You're not ever really sad at anything, you don't really confront anyone for treating you like a discount version of someone else. At one point your character acknowledges that another character is a sussy baka and asks them why they're being a sussy baka and the sussy baka just doesn't respond and that's ok with you, or [i]it damn well better be[/i]. Anyways, I know I sound really harsh, but if you just want to read a really good story (which this is!!) from a talent author (which they are!!), go ahead and buy it. If you're looking for player agency and a world you feel you truly are able to interact with and shape, with actual romance options that don't make you feel like a weird perv or cuck, can I once more point you towards Golden Rose Book One. tldr; great book, not so good choose your own adventure book, god is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

This is another no for me, and I was shocked that for once me and another reviewer actually agree! (I dont think that has ever happened lol) Long story short, the World building and story setting are spot on, and thats about the only thing I can say as a positive. Stat building is pointless, as story events hose whatever type of character / build you were going for. Romance options are Fixed, gender wise, and honestly it wouldnt matter, because everyone in the story if fixated on an alternate version of you (either a dead version of you that doesnt exist anymore, or a fake version of you that has been running around pretending to be the old you... yeah its complicated) In no case do your opinions or actions with the LIs matter, because it's not "you" they are interested in. Finally the story itself cant figure out what it wants to be, or wants you to be. You go from applying as an apprentice for a job position overseas, to having tea with God... yeah its that out there. Anyways as always YMMV, but I really believe more people are going to be disappointed with this, than pleased.

Recently, I've found myself disappointed by CoGs. I'm extremely picky when it comes to games and even the CoG that I've played for 121 hours hasn't hit a 10/10 for me. Regardless of how much I love something, I reserve that score only for that which I think truly deserves it and Teahouse for the Gods deserves that 10/10 in my mind. First off, I want to address the Mandarin in the game. I was confused at first but quickly grew used to it. Early on, you get the option to choose your character's fluency and I chose to match it to my own fluency - or rather, complete lack thereof. I didn't translate any of it for myself yet I never felt like there was a large amount of gaps or that I had "missed out" on anything because of this. I can't wait to play this for a second time and translate everything - part of me fears that google might not do the best job at maintaining the original meaning (especially after reading the author's interview) but I am excited for it nevertheless! This isn't something I've seen consistently done in a CoG or hosted game before and I loved it so much! As for the writing that I could understand without a translation tool, it's brilliantly written. Over and over, the author describes the world in rich, beautiful detail that makes me yearn to experience places like that myself. This is poured into every chapter, breathing life into the environments in a way that I'd never have expected in a CoG. Time and time again, I would tell myself, "Ah, I'll finish this chapter and then go to sleep," but I kept going, thoroughly entranced by this game. At the end of my first 4.6 hour playthrough, I found myself tearing up. My ending felt bittersweet in a way to me and yet I could not find any regret in it. It was poignant. It was beautiful. It was divine. I can't find any other word for the characters except lovable. Even my "least" favourite characters were still enjoyable, and I look forward to going down their routes and getting to know them better. The author describes the characters as more "relationship options" than romances, which I really liked. I gleefully suggested a polyamorous relationship when the option came up and although it was different from what you might expect from other games in this genre, I still enjoyed it a lot (especially as someone who's both aspec and arospec!). I'm not actually sure how many relationship options there are - I'm excited to find out! I'm also certainly going to have subsequent playthroughs where I get to know characters that I maybe didn't spend as much time with previously. All of them are either charming or compelling if not both. Finally, the setting. Contemporary Fantasy that blends together different mythologies and beliefs isn't a new concept, but Teahouse of the Gods conveys it in a refreshing and beautiful manner. I know everyone makes the comparison of media to works by Hayao Miyazaki but I truly think this has echoes and ripples of it, from the themes to the environments depicted within. I hope that people aren't put off by the sections in Mandarin because I think this deserves to be up among the "greats" of Choice of Games/Hosted Games, so much so that I rushed to write (and then rewrite, since I lost my progress) a review. I personally cannot wait to see more from the author, in whatever form it comes!

I usually finish CoG games in a day or two depending on how many times I read them. It took me [i]two weeks[/i] to find the will to go through this one. It was my most laborious read so far. [h1]I'd give it a solid 2/10.[/h1] [b]Writing and story :[/b] The writing style is unremarkable, it's getting the job done. Some issues with pinyin editing and a couple of typos. I don't have much to say about it. Lots of lore and a whole plethora of settings, it can be hard to keep track of everything, especially the settings. Often we are presented with way too much informations at the same time. Names, places, mythology... all the time, which can turn it into a tiring read. But it's clear the author put a lot of heart and effort into it, which I respect. Now the pacing. The last few CoG and Hosted Games I've read struggled with pacing. Teahouse of the Gods isn't the exception I thought it'd be. It's too slow or too fast, events either drag on or just rush into each others. It's not rare for multiple events to happen at the same time, and with the massive amount of infos, it gets exhausting to follow. The story itself, I didn't care for. Some CoG aren't good but the story despite its flaws keeps me hooked, not this one though. That's probably why I took so long to finish it, I had no interest in what would happen, I wanted it to end but couldn't find the motivation to go through it. It's classic, new beginnings, unlock power, problem, find solution to problem, big final fight, ending. Regarding the 'powers' part, as explained on the shop page, the main character unlocks their spiritual energy, called 'qi'. I mean, it should be worldbreaking news! You just learned you have super powers and that spirits exist... But the MC takes it like any other news, and immediatly accepts it for what it is. Same reaction for a lot of things, which I find pretty lame. The author has an unnerving obsession with TikTok, especially in the beginning. We get it, you're trying to appeal to a young audience, but that's not the way. Same goes with the attempt to use outdated memes. It's hard to keep up with social media culture in modern stories, so it's always a hit or miss. I think for this one, it's a huge miss. And the ending? Mid at best. [b]Characters and interactions :[/b] We're presented to some archetypes but it's actually not so bad cliché wise. I mostly didn't care about any character, except one. Sure some are nice or fun, but they don't seem to matter that much. Your relationships seem meaningless, however you'll behave the story will go on as intented. There's romance. Yeah, kind of. The LIs are pretty terrible. You've got three options : friendzone, terrible person and mysterious woman. (She's the reason why I didn't drop the game after two hours, what can I say... The whole [i]I'll rebuild the universe for you[/i] got me.) Don't get into the game if you're hoping for quality romance. Interactions between the characters are fine. You don't have much choices in term of dialogues, not that it matters anyway. The player has few options, often three (the three paths of qi) or four. Wether you succeed or fail doesn't matter, railroading will take you where you need to go. It's difficult to give the MC a personality when considering the poor selection. So yeah, stats barely matter, illusion of freewill, not unusual flaws for what I think is a mediocre CoG. [b]Conclusion :[/b] I can't recommand it. Even if you love chinese mythology, it's not worth it. Lately, CoG have been really disappointing and it's annoying since I really really enjoy these games. I've read plenty, they're the reason I ever reviewed games on Steam. I can only hope a good one will come out soon. But this one ? Nope, 2/10.

So, I'm pretty rarely harsh about these stories. As a matter of fact, I've found few that I didn't outright love. This one, I got through a few pages of it and couldn't keep going. Not that I'm a multilingual genius or anything, but this story seems to have been clearly written by someone that doesn't have English as a first language. I found the pattern and flow of the wording to be confusing and unnatural. I found myself having to re-read each paragraph multiple times and then the entire page at least a second time before I was able to wrap my head around what was going on. Then from what I'm seeing from other reviews and the previews on the game's store page; it just looks like a mess that sin't very fun to play even whenever you do understand the story. This one is getting a 2/10.

I constantly double guessed my choices and found myself going back to see alternative paths. There is so much exciting lore and I know I barely scratched the surface. I can't begin to recommend enough. 10/10

Good

I was absolutely not prepared for how completely and utterly off the chain this game is. If you like Choice Of games, give this one a shot.

A masterpiece. This game is like a book which hero you are, based on modern and fantasy rural China. You can choose very diverse playstyle, build up your own character and the book is weel written. I played one and half hour so far and I like this game! I don't understand the negative reviews. I highly recommand this game and I advice to playing it with a cup of tea, relaxed, not tired and with chinese music in the background. I recommand these tunes, from the series "The Untamed" which suits perfectly the game : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ciCko7iqEo ([s l o w e d] THE UNTAMED - INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) Edited: Just finished the game, and I found the ending disapointing. It was a nice experience, though.