If I were to describe [b]Love Love Joe Biden[/b] in a single word, [i]it would be[/i]: ...aabsbgsdfhk [i]dfsljnjnsdlf[/i] [b]eeosdhgsld[/b]. Seriously, this game is [b]absolutely incredible[/b]. The anime visuals look [i]gorgeous[/i], the writing and characterization are leagues better than [i]any[/i] of its competition, and the whole thing feels [b]stunning[/b]; brave, even; like it knows what it's saying, and how to get its point across. All while making you [i]feel[/i] [b]the exaggerated swagger of a geriatric old man with dementia[/b]. [i]It gives me the chills every time[/i].
You're an attractive 20s-something fresh out of med school -[i]single and desperate[/i]- and you just got a job at Delaware's finest retirement home! Everyone here is [b]so cool[/b]! There's Addie, a nurse who's a bit busty and is provocatively dressed; Jeremy, the housekeeper who's also a furry; Susine, the sweetest old lady in the building (and possibly the state!); and then there's... [b]woooww... he's... HE'S HERE!! JOE BIDEN!!![/b] [i]he's so amazing oh my gosh I think I'm in love!!![/i]....BUT.... here's the deal: everyone else is ALSO [b]in love with Joe Biden[/b]. They're all trying to win over his heart in different ways, so what do YOU have to offer him?? As this narrative unfolds, you'll kindle a romantic relationship with Biden; feeding him ice cream, giving him baths, and listening to his long-winding stories about the good old days at the white house. The story is full of crazy twists; twists like how Susine [i]poisoned her husband[/i] to get his money, and plans on doing the same to Joe; or how Jeremy was a hitman [i]sent by Donald Trump[/i]; or how Addie is [i]trans[/i]; yeah, [b]you never saw them twists coming[/b]. But the most shocking reveal comes from Biden himself, in that [i]he's been lying about his son[/i] [b]for years[/b]. Not lying as in “covering up his mistakes” or anything, but straight up [b]lying about him having a son at all[/b]. [i]Hunter Biden isn't real[/i]. [b]Jill Biden isn't real[/b]. And all that crack in the White House [b]belonged to Joe[/b]. Even with every single person keeping secrets from you -[i]your beloved Biden included[/i]- that just makes you even more set on marrying the man. And finally, in a heart pounding climax, you're invited to the retirement home's weekly trivia night... [b]and the host is none other than Joe Biden[/b]. The stakes [i]couldn't be higher[/i]: everyone is here to show their smarts, [i]their love, their passion[/i], to this [b]flawless specimen of a man[/b]; but only one of you can win over his heart. After an epic battle of the wits (in which you barely win the competition by answering “what year did the war of 1812 start?”), you and Biden sit alone in his room... [i]he moves in... puts his hands on your shoulders...[/i] [b]and plants a kiss right on your lips...[/b] before you can react, [b]he kisses you again[/b], and tells you “you taste like ice cream!”. But then, [i]he stops[/i], and says [i]this isn't right[/i], and that [b]you're too old for him[/b]. You try to speak, to voice your love, to just say SOMETHING, but it's too late. [b]he's already asleep[/b]. A sad but beautiful melody plays as the credits roll, while promising that the next chapter is on its way. Such [i]majesty[/i], such [i]emotion[/i], such [b]a work of art[/b].
Let me tell you something: [b]yesterday[/b], I was heterosexual; but after seeing anime Joe Biden, [i]I'm not so sure anymore[/i]. This game is an absolute feast for the eyes and ears. I could go over how colorful and appealing the backgrounds look, or talk about the side characters; but [i]you couldn't care less about that[/i]. Like everybody else in the cast, [b]you're only here for Biden[/b]. And [i]let me tell ya something[/i]: [b]he does not disappoint[/b]. [i]Look at those soft, intelligent eyes... that welcoming smile... the lines and wrinkles are just proof of the joys and sunshine, and the head of white hair is a gift from a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom[/i]... [b]look at those abs... those biceps... it's as if he was chiseled from stone... from an artist of the gods... look at his[/b]---[i]ehm uhhh[/i] (*ahem*) we [i]we[/i] should probably move on now. The voice acting is amazing. Joe Biden's soothing baritones are like [i]a choir of angels singing from heaven[/i]. Now, you may be thinking “[b]pwuah! they didn't get the REAL Joe Biden to voice Joe Biden! it's obviously an Al voice; like those Presidents Playing Video Games videos![/b]”, but that's where you're [i]wrong[/i]. First off, Joe Biden really WAS playing [b]Wii Sports[/b] with Obama and Trump, [b]so checkmate right there, liberals[/b]. And second: Joe Biden really did reprise his role as Biden in the hit game [b]Love Love Joe Biden[/b]. and he did it out of the kindness of his heart! [i]miracles are real![/i] Speaking of which, [b]Biden's performance[/b]. It's shocking, the amount of range one man is capable of. You can [b]FEEL[/b] the anger in Biden's voice when he scolds Jeremy for [i]not giving him more ice cream[/i], the [b]EMOTION[/b] when he's reminiscing about the time [i]he fell down the stairs[/i], the [b]LAYERS[/b] when he says “poor kids are just as smart as white kids”. And that finale... [i]I am still taking it all in[/i]... [b]Jeremy pointing a gun... declaring “It's Joe-ver!! You're Bi-DONE!!”.... you jumping in front of the bullet.... and Biden saying one word... one word that changes everything...[/b] abubslgb [i] gergjlklef[/i] [b]usgbsjkjjk[/b]. Even though the message is incomprehensible, [i]you see tears pouring down his face[/i]... proof of just how much he cares about you. When all the chaos settles, and Jeremy is down, Biden brings you to his room, in the [b]most touching scene I've ever had the privilege of seeing...[/b] I don't care what anyone says; [b]this is art[/b]. this is the power of fiction, and the power of literature. [b]this is why I'm proud to be alive[/b]. thank you, [i]thank you[/i], Biden. [b]I am all yours[/b]
Forgive me, I don't mean any blasphemy, but I did have one slight problem with [b]Love Love Joe Biden[/b]. I didn't particularly appreciate how your choices had no impact on the story. I've played through the game multiple times, each time picking different dialogue boxes and things, and I'd always end up with the exact same outcome. Now, I don't [i]in any way[/i] want to offend the great name of Biden, but that feels kind of lazy. Along with that, the story only has one ending. Sure, episode two is in the works (which I am SO EXCITING FOR!), but I don't think I can wait that long! I need more Biden romance [b]NOW![/b] Like, imagine how awesome it would be if the game was like [b]I Love You Colonel Sanders[/b] (another incredible game, by the way. definitely recommend), in that each choice did make a difference, and that you could actually break Colonel Sander's heart and get a bad ending?? sure, no one would want that, but [i]it would really up the stakes knowing that it could happen![/i] Overall, it's a very minor flaw in an otherwise flawless game. makes me want to have a double scoop of chocolate chocolate-chip. yum!
[b]Love Love Joe Biden[/b] is [b]perfection incarnated[/b]. Every single aspect of the game is necessary to the experience, and each part [i]was given the love and time they deserve[/i]. You'll laugh, [i]you'll cry[/i], and you'll feel [i]many different things[/i], but most importantly; [b]you'll really FEEL like you're dating Joe Biden[/b]. An easy 10/10, has a little something for everybody. Now, not to get political or anything, but who did you vote for this election? I personally voted for Chumlee from Pawn Stars.
