BWAG
YOU GOTTA EAT YOUR VEGGIES!!! Now they've come for payback — took your ply, took your sheets, took your trousers. All they left was your hat, your boots and every gun in your Arsenal. "HA! Stupid Vegetables". Walk the gulch. Get it all back. And don't let them kick your butt.
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About
About the game
YOU ATE YOUR VEGGIES.
Every last one. Cleaned the plate. Said thank you.
They remembered.
They came at sundown while you were sat comfortable and thinking about nothing, and they took it all. Every sheet off the roll. Every ply in the jar — your money, your savings, the lot. They took the shirt. They took the trousers, and they took their time doing it.
They left you three things, and they left them on purpose.
Your HAT, so the gulch would know your face.
Your BOOTS, so you could walk out and find them.
And every GUN you own, so it’d mean something when they beat you anyway.
That was the insult. That’s the whole story. Now put one foot in front of the other and go and get your ply back, one dead vegetable at a time.
They’re not scared of you. You’re wearing no trousers.
THE ROAD
Five roads out of the gulch, and a road runs one way — forward. Pickle Flats. Cobb County. Onion Hollow. Chili Canyon. Spud Gulch. Every one of them ends with something big, mean and organic standing between you and what’s yours.
Shoot everything. Shoot the outhouses too — that’s where they stashed the ply, and you’re going to need it.
THE ARSENAL
You start with A SALT RIFLE and you finish with whatever you can afford. Nine guns on the rack, each one wrong in its own way:
A SALT RIFLE — cures it. Permanently.
PEPPER SHOT — wide, mean, and it makes them sneeze first.
RELISH LOBBER — arcs over cover. Lands sticky.
LASER LEEK — cuts a green line clean through the row.
SNOT GUN — do not ask.
DOUBLE GREASE HEAT — two barrels. No survivors.
FLAVOUR TASER — chains from one to the next.
HOT SAUCE — leaves them burning long after.
THE BIG FUDGING GUN — you'll know when you've earned it.
THE UPGRADES
PLY isn't much good sitting in your pocket. Spend it.
Run faster. Shoot harder. Carry more. Take a hit without losing your dignity. Upgrade your gear as you push deeper into the gulch.
FAST BOOTS — more speed when the road gets crowded.
LONG JOHNS — because eventually something is going to hit you.
BEANS — more fuel when you need to get moving.
WEAPON UPGRADES — three tiers of increasingly unreasonable firepower.
The farther you get, the more PLY you'll need. Good thing the vegetables stole all of it.
THE GETAWAY
Sometimes shooting isn’t enough. Hit the dash and get moving — burst through the firing line, dodge incoming shots and get yourself out of a bad situation before the whole gulch closes in.
Keep moving, keep eating beans, keep shooting. Standing still is how you end up on somebody else’s wanted poster.
THE WANTED LIST
Every boss has a poster, a title and a price on its head. Put it down, collect the bounty, and walk on.
PICKLE PEET, the Brine Bandit — 50 PLY.
COBB McGRAW, the Kernel — 70 PLY.
ONION KID, the Weeper — 95 PLY.
EL ROJO, the Scoville King — 125 PLY.
BAKED BART, the Hot Spud — 160 PLY.
THE LAST SUPPER, what he ate — all of it.
THEY COME BACK
Putting a vegetable in the dirt doesn't mean it stays there.
Clear the gulch and familiar faces start showing up again — tougher, meaner and carrying a grudge. THE BRINE BANDIT RETURNS. THE HOT SPUD RIDES AGAIN.
You've already collected their bounty once.
This time it's personal.
AND SOMETHING AT THE END OF THE ROAD
There’s a way out past the last stage that isn’t on any map, and something down there that ate before you did. It doesn’t have a bounty. It has an appetite.
You can go in as many times as you like. It’s counting.
WHAT YOU GET
Vertical run-and-gun in the old arcade tradition — one road, one direction, no cover and no mercy
Nine guns, each upgradeable, from a salt rifle to something you have to earn
Six bosses with wanted posters, titles and bounties — and every one of them comes back angrier
The gas dash — beans in, speed out, straight through the firing line
Shoot the outhouses for ply, then spend it on boots, beans, long johns and firepower
Five roads out of the gulch, plus one that isn’t on the map
You have no trousers. This is never addressed and never fixed
Spend your PLY on fast boots, long johns, beans and three tiers of weapon upgrades
