Slap That

Un mundo lleno de Pous bien curiosos :D

slapped

This game crashed on the third level without saving so I slapped my monitor across my room

Прикольная игра, жаль только много типов которые хотят захватить мир... А так игра имба

[h1]Akon Featuring Eminem - Smack That (Parody with Asterix and Obelix)[/h1] [Asterix:] By Toutatis! [Obelix:] Menhir delivery, Armorica! Asterix, Slim Obelix! I see a game, could it be any more lazy? Ay. I feel you draggin', I can see it from the gloom Wanna run a marathon in this tiny, gray room? Instead of slapping Romans clear across the room? And completely waste a concept? Look back and watch me slap that, send them through the door Slap that, like a Roman on the floor Slap that, 'til their helmets hit the floor Slap that, oh-by-Toutatis-no-more! Slap that, send them through the door Slap that, like a Roman on the floor Slap that, 'til their helmets hit the floor Slap that, oh-by-Toutatis-no-more! [Asterix:] Gaulish style, ready to attack now PC's running hot, cooling system track now Uncapped frames got the hardware packed now Jet engine noise, yeah the audio is cracked now Ooh, I see it dull and backed now Forced typos and reddit energy stacked now I'ma close the app, put the hammer down Wasted punk aesthetic, biggest letdown in town! I feel you draggin', I can see it from the gloom Wanna run a marathon in this tiny, gray room? Instead of slapping Romans clear across the room? And completely waste a concept? Look back and watch me slap that, send them through the door Slap that, like a Roman on the floor Slap that, 'til their helmets hit the floor Slap that, oh-by-Toutatis-no-more! Slap that, send them through the door Slap that, like a Roman on the floor Slap that, 'til their helmets hit the floor Slap that, oh-by-Toutatis-no-more! [Obelix:] Oh, looks like another shallow Roman camp They better hang on when they turn this thing on Get a little magic potion on, they gon' flip For this awful script, you can bank on it Pixelated graphics, blurry art design flaws I'd rather slap a centurion right out of his claws Leaving just his sandals standing with no applause Trying to hold my temper back through my jaws Step off the path, didn't think I saw it No autosave feature, if it crashes you're spent I'm like, "Asterix, let's cut to the chase No Romans to bash, delete from my space" Plus from the start to the end's like a mile away Or twenty minutes tops, shall I say And plus, it's completely hollow anyway Cacofonix wouldn't even play! (Obelix!) [Asterix:] I feel you draggin', I can see it from the gloom (From the gloom) Wanna run a marathon in this tiny, gray room? Like listening to Cacofonix sing a dreadful tune? (Dreadful tune?) And completely waste a concept? (Ooh, yeah) Look back and watch me slap that, send them through the door Slap that, like a Roman on the floor Slap that, 'til their helmets hit the floor Slap that, oh-by-Toutatis-no-more! Slap that, send them through the door Slap that, like a Roman on the floor (Yeah) Slap that, 'til their helmets hit the floor Slap that, oh-by-Toutatis-no-more! (Yeah, yeah) [Obelix:] Chief Vitalstatistix rollin', Getafix rollin' The whole Gaulish village, yeah we all rollin' Stupid Roman legions, out the way rollin' Soon, I'll be launchin' them and throwin' stones (Stones) Hittin' no less than three (Three) Flying through the sky like whee (Whee) By Belenos, I can tell you this game is a chore, 'cause lately [Asterix:] I feel you draggin', I can see it from the gloom (Yeah, from the gloom) Wanna run a marathon in this tiny, gray room? Cacofonix starts to sing and we all clear the room? (Clear the room?) And completely waste a concept? (Ooh, yeah) [Both:] Look back and watch me slap that, tie him to a tree Slap that, Roman shields are all I see Slap that, smash the bard's whole lyre on his knee Slap that, oh-by-Toutatis-no-more! Slap that, send them through the door Slap that, like a Roman on the floor Slap that, 'til their helmets hit the floor Slap that, oh-by-Toutatis-no-more! [hr] [h1]Ryan George Style Pitch Meeting:[/h1] [b]Setting the Scene:[/b] The pitch happens on a neon-pink digital highway inside a blinding, high-saturation neon-orange canyon. For some incredibly odd reason, a distorted MIDI version of Akon's "Smack That" echoes loudly on a loop. The Kung Pow cast is circled around them: the Cow is chewing on a floating meme frame, Master Tang rhythmically coughs to the beat, and Wimp Lo is headbutting an orange pillar, shouting, "I am bleeding, making me the victor!" [b]Publisher:[/b] (Shielding his eyes from the orange walls) So, you have a brand new first-person hallway-slapping simulation for me? [b]Game Designer:[/b] Yes, sir! It’s called Slap That, and it is going to take the digital marketplace by storm! [b]Publisher:[/b] Wow wow wow. Wow. A game where you just slap things? Do you hear that weird music? [b]Game Designer:[/b] Oh yeah, that's just a distorted version of "Smack That" playing for some odd reason, don't worry about it. Now, in this game, you walk down a series of narrow, linear corridors painted entirely blinding neon orange, and you just use your palm to hit office desks and water coolers! [b]Publisher:[/b] Oh, neat! An art gallery setting! What kind of beautiful, thought-provoking art is on display? [b]Game Designer:[/b] Oh, there is absolutely no real art! It is entirely made up of incredibly unfunny internet memes and pretentious dialogue with forced typos to give it that organic Reddit energy! [b]Publisher:[/b] Oh... so the entire environment is just a collection of stale social media jokes with a blinding coat of paint? [b]Game Designer:[/b] Precisely! It's a total sensory overload to distract them from the fact that the core gameplay loop has absolutely zero mechanical depth! [b]Wimp Lo:[/b] (Squeaking his shoes, proudly pointing at the screen) We purposely trained this game wrong, as a joke! It has no objectives! [b]Publisher:[/b] Wait, you designed a brand new game completely incorrectly on purpose? No objectives at all? [b]Game Designer:[/b] None! You just look at the bad jokes on the walls and keep walking forward in a straight line until the game abruptly ends after twenty minutes. [b]Publisher:[/b] Well, surely there are Steam achievements to track your progress? [b]Game Designer:[/b] None of those either! [b]Publisher:[/b] Oh my god. [b]Mei Ling:[/b] (Gasps, turning to her father) Father, look at those forced typos! They are horrible! [b]Mei Ling's Father:[/b] (Nodding solemnly) Yes, it is bad bad bad... very bad. [b]Publisher:[/b] Well, won't players just sprint right to the end? [b]Game Designer:[/b] Oh, it’s super easy, barely an inconvenience to stop them! We hid little snail assets around the map! So players have to awkwardly wedge their cameras into tight corners behind lobby furniture just to find them. [b]Publisher:[/b] Oooooh, tight corners behind lobby furniture are tight! [b]THATS A LOT OF NUTS Guy:[/b] (Bellowing through a megaphone) THAT'S A LOT OF SNAILS! THAT'LL BE FOUR BUCKS, BABY! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?! [b]Game Designer:[/b] What? [b]Publisher:[/b] What? [b]Game Designer:[/b] What? [b]Publisher:[/b] Well, okay then! Whoops! [b]Game Designer:[/b] Whoopsie! [b]The Chosen One:[/b] (Leaping into the center, pointing at the main villain) Your shirt is red! [b]Evil Betty:[/b] (Swinging his metal claws, wearing his signature red outfit) Enough! From this day forward, this game shall be referred to as... garbage! [b]Publisher:[/b] Fair enough! That works. Let's release it immediately so people can leave mixed reviews. [b]Game Designer:[/b] Great! [b]Master Tang:[/b] (Faintly, while coughing) I love this terrible orange game... but a tiny net is a death sentence. [b]Wimp Lo:[/b] (Tripping over a flat texture) Haha! My face completely broke their asset boundaries, making me the victor! [b]Mu Shu Fasa:[/b] (Leaning over to the megaphone) This gameplay loop is weak! Entirely weak! [b]The Animated Cow:[/b] (Mooes perfectly in a completely flat, auto-tuned digital voice tone). [b]The Dog:[/b] (Barking via terrible lip-synced audio) Arf! My tongue is a scroll of flawed game design! (As the scene fades out.)

I love slapping homeless people in the first level.

its a nice casual quick game, highly recommend, i beat it in about 40 minutes

El juego es gracioso, es divertido ir por ahi metiendo manotazos a cosas Me ha pasado que despues del pibe que te dice que a ver si ve culos en la tele, al entrar a la siguiente sala se me ha congelado el juego y he tenido que cerrarlo. No se ha guardado nada del progreso, pero bueno, ha sido rapido volver a llegar asi que no pasa nada, si fuera mas largo el juego si seria mas molesto. En resumen, mu buen trabajo, mu gracioso y mu divertido