the game is super short.
the jump is a bit unresponsive some times.
the art isn't very interesting.
the game is quite janky.
some of the achievements are definitely impossible to get.
why is the game called "player goes jump"? seems like a terrible name. that name would quite literally fit super mario brothers better than it fits this game. the name easily could have been "player reads signs" because reading signs is as important to the gameplay as jumping is.
the jumping is implemented in a super boring way so i don't get why it gets to be in the title of the game. in fact, the game would probably be more fun to play if there was no jumping and all the levels were just flat expanses of blue grass. why is the grass blue anyway? and the dirt is green? i don't think there is any artistic vision there, i think the colors were chosen at random.
the music is pretty good, although i don't think it fits the game particularly well. that makes sense because the music in the game was not made for the game.
there is a shop that they never tell you about except in the controls menu for some reason. there is also never anything in it and no reason to ever open the shop. why?
there is no settings menu, which is not ideal.
the game says 0.0.0.8 at the corner constantly, which implies that it may be updated in the future, but it was made a few years ago, and at the end of the game, it teases another new game which further implies the game will never be updated.
by the way, the website it tells you to go to for updates and notes doesn't work. awesome.
the logo of the game is super inconsistent. in three different places on steam/in game, it uses the default steam font, just some black text of some random font, and in game, the logo is super ugly, and looks kinda futuristic for some reason with some of the letters backwards so you can't read it. i don't know which one is the ugliest.
there are powerups for no reason. they are literally pointless and last like 5 seconds. i couldn't even tell it was a powerup before i got the achievement that said that they were powerups.
the game likes to pretend it is something it is not, for some reason. some examples include:
the "your first death" achievement asks how many more deaths there will be, which implies that the player will die a bunch more, but the game is like super easy and super short
the "your first kill" achievement asks if you will keep killing, which makes it seem like you have a choice. some enemies you need to kill in order to beat the game. and if i am somehow wrong about that, then isn't it the game's fault for not telling me?
i was killing for "no reason really"? wrong. if i touch those people. i die instantly. they also shoot at me if they are holding a gun.
"you shot first"? not true. those people kill me whether ive shot or not.
"you didnt have to kill anyone?" not true.
anyway, really bad game. bad art. terrible level design. terrible game design. super short. :(
if you want to play it because of how bad i made it sound, then you should know that the game is like five minutes long and it is more boring and pointless than bad in an interesting way, like some other games are. you know what i mean? at least bad games can be fun to make other people play, but this game has absolutely nothing going for it. reading this review is more productive than playing the game. it's also longer than the game.
