Existential Kitty Cat RPG

RPGMaker gets a bad rap for having low-effort, generic games because it's a "beginner's game engine", but sometimes creative people lack technical expertise, and a real creative story can be found behind unambitious production values. This... isn't one of those games. The "Existential" part of the game is literally just the first couple lines of dialogue, before it is immediately forgotten in favor of jokes about how cats chase string or something. That and butt jokes. This game has a 5th grader's sense of humor, and you get spells named "Arcane *Fanny* Blast", or drink pee for powerups, or wear "*false phallus* hat"s you find in a rock. (Names changed to avoid censoring.) This game is that bad kind of "ironic parody" where they try to make an in-game joke that a cliche is lame and cliche, but then keep doing it, themselves instead of actually coming up with anything creative to avoid it. Gameplay is aggressively boring. Enjoy long, empty, rectangular areas with the same objects clone-stamped all over. Also, the designer didn't keep things consistent, so you can't walk behind trees on one map, but can on others. Fights, especially boss fights, are far too long, and when you get down to it, even though there are many different skills, there is no reason not to just use the "attack" command and basic "heal"s to save extremely limited MP. Buffing spells seem to have no real impact on gameplay, but then, maybe what they actually do was just mislabeled? There are also technical problems - the game constantly freezes for a couple seconds every time the music changes. Items say they raise MDef, but they actually raise regular Def. At least the doors connect properly and the game has proper grammar, though. It's not aggressively terrible, but there's just no reason to play it. This game was recieved for free for review purposes.

I played this game to completion. I can't really be sure why... Maybe curiosity? The dialogue is odd, and funny at times. The story follows pretty standard lines. The title of the game is appropriate. It's a pretty decent, functional old-school JRPG. Play it if you want. It's not bad, but I wouldn't personally recommend it.

лютейшая е**нина, спасибо за специальные предложения, стим

This is a short little, generic JRPG-like that is priced right, around $1-2. It was good for an afternoon of distraction, and I managed to complete the game in about 4 hours of game time, maybe less. There's not a whole lot to it - there are four classes, and conveniently, four character slots, though you aren't obligated to select one of each class. Skills max out around level 10, which you'll hit halfway through the game. There's a handful of weapons and limited equipment (I think I saw three unique vendors, whose inventory never updates.) On the down side, there are some major spelling errors in the game text, and a strangely out-of-place inclusion of randomly sexualized items, which clash against the otherwise G-rated setting. Seriously, there's no in-game explanation for why certain consumables and gear need to draw inspiration from Chuck Tingle titles. Anyway, if you consider $2 or less worth three or more hours of entertainment, you could do worse.

I hate to see a good game with only 2 user reviews. Anyone with even a casual interest in old school JRPGs should pick this one up. Everything works fine & some of the item names are...quite hysterical. :) Good story. If I had a minor gripe, I would have liked to have seen even MORE M-RATED content. B+

The game is actually okay, but the ending was highly disappointing. It kind of felt like an F you to the player. The game was a bit goofy, but the lackluster close was not expected. The good: I like cats. I apparently didn't pay enough attention to the screenshots and just looked at the game's cover image. There is one human character with cat ears. Another named Tim Cat that is theoretically a cat but has no ears. A normal human named cat. And a dog thing that looks like an actual mix of dog and person. I thought it would be...cats. But the cat jokes were fine with me. I didn't have any broken bits and was able to get in the necessary areas. The bad: The ending. The profanity. There are jokes about items like "false phallus" and "dildo hat". I feel like the Venn diagram of people who gravitate to that humor and people who like cat jokes has a rather thin overlap. I left it on the end screen for...a while to see if anything would happen. But nothing happened. Weird experience.

i like ♥♥♥♥♥♥

ilk türçe inceleme hadi bakiim

RPG Maker strikes again! Existential Kitty Cat RPG is one of hundreds of low effort retro-pixel RPG Maker asset/construction kit flips spamming the Steam catalog, made with the RPG Maker video game construction kit... in their own words, "Our easy to use tools are simple enough for a child." Like all RPG Maker "games", this is essentially a bunch of low quality/canned assets from RPG Maker coupled with a cringeworthy high school anime club fan fiction. As with all RPG Maker games, the poor quality engine displays badly in fullscreen and doesn't have full HD support or any graphics tweaking options, making this unacceptable for any dedicated modern PC gamer. The point can be made that the intention of RPG Maker is to make demos and small games to pass around friends, and shouldn't be used for "professional" game development. Like most RPG Maker shovelware and asset flips, the game features extremely low quality copy + pasted 2D retro pixel art, looks awful, and has even worse gameplay. RPG Maker is an absolutely terrible construction kit, and never results in games of any reasonable quality or value to gamers. It seems like the "developer" here is a serial offender and has dumped over a dozen of these phoned in RPG Maker asset flips, minimal effort stuff, with lazy map designs, bad encounter designs, basically everything done with RPG Maker assets and stock character image creators, and completely terrible, elementary schoolchild tier writing. This is no exception, as the developer claims it's a ripoff of Jim Davis's famous Garfield character, but has nothing to do with it. It's full of peurile pre-pubsescent schoolyard humour, the type children get up to when they realise there's no adults around to punish them for being vile. It makes one wonder about the mental state of the "developer" of this garbage, but then you see just how much trash they've dumped on Steam, it just makes things worse. Toying around with RPG Maker for about 3 hours doesn't make someone a real game developer, and I question how it's good for gamers to permit so many of these RPG Maker asset flips onto Steam when they have no real value as a video game. It's worth pointing out if you really do want to play RPG Maker garbage, there's literally hundreds of completely free RPG Maker asset flips on Steam, all better than this paid product. The poor quality of this game is reflected by how many people spent time with it. At the time of this review, SteamDB shows the all-time peak player number was only 5 players. This is a remarkably low number, and now, the only player activity occurs once or twice a month, presumably someone loading it up to see what it is then quickly uninstalling it. Considering there's over 120 million gamers on Steam and well over 100,000 games for gamers to choose from, the overwhelming lack of interest in this low quality game is to be expected. Existential Kitty Cat RPG is relatively cheap at $1 USD, but it's not worth it. Given the defects and quality issues with the game, coupled with the unrealistic price, this is impossible to recommend. Gamers who want a good retro JRPG experience would be better off playing the originals, like Final Fantasy, Star Ocean or Chrono Trigger. This is also competing with over 11,000 free games available on Steam, many of them far better than this paid product.

Cute little RPG. Took about 3 hours from start to finish. Not a lot of grinding, not difficult to get the money for better equipment, and a decent story line with a few chuckles.