[h1]Ryan George Style Pitch Meeting:[/h1]
Publisher: So, you have a leather-clad-redhead-gives-aggressive-hugs simulator for me?
Game Designer: Yes, sir, I do! It's called BloodRayne!
Publisher: Oh, making a game entirely focused on a highly alluring protagonist leaping around the 1930s sounds incredibly difficult.
Game Designer: Actually, it's super easy, barely an inconvenience!
Publisher: Oh, really?
Game Designer: Yeah, we just put her in a tight corset, give her massive arm-blades to deliver extremely firm high-fives, and let Laura Bailey provide the voice acting!
Publisher: Oooooh, Laura Bailey's voice acting is tight!
Miss Fortune: Did someone say alluring redheads in leather? My kind of aesthetic!
Lina: I'm the original fiery redhead, but I definitely respect the wardrobe choice.
Windranger: I also have red hair! I brought my bow just in case we're doing target practice!
Queen of Pain: Alluring leather shenanigans? I am the undisputed monarch of that department!
Evelynn: Sneaking around and engaging in alluring shenanigans is exactly what I do best.
Enchantress: Sproink! Did someone say alluring jumping? Because I have four legs and I'm very good at prancing through the woods!
Harley Quinn: Did somebody say red and black leather with crazy acrobatics?! Oh my gosh, Ive, we've gotta get her to join our crew!
Poison Ivy: A fierce redhead taking out bad guys in a giant swamp ecosystem? Honestly, I'm taking notes.
Harley Quinn: And she gives aggressive hugs to the bad guys?! That's my signature move! Though usually I use a giant mallet instead of arm-blades!
Poison Ivy: Harley, sweetie, let the dhampir work. Nature is clearly healing.
Vex: Ugh, so much sunlight in here. But a pale, moody dhampir in black leather? I suddenly feel very seen and very... appreciative.
Rafa: Look, I’m supposed to be a tech-mercenary, but for a goth goddess who sips fruit punch and wears a corset? I’d buy her a Tediore subscription any day. #GothSimpLife!
Jeanette Voerman: Did someone say alluring? I'm Jeanette Voerman, more like vore-me!
Velvet Velour: There is always room for more poetry and alluring vampires, my sweet sister.
Prince LaCroix: This is a clear violation of the Masquerade! You cannot just leap around in leather and reveal our kind!
Smiling Jack: Ha! Relax, LaCroix! Let the dhampir have her fun!
Nines: Yeah, she's fighting the big 1930s historical bad guys. That's a cause I can get behind.
Damsel: Stick it to the man, Rayne!
Publisher: Well, okay then. So what exactly does this Rayne character do in the game?
Game Designer: She works for a secret society and she defeats enemies by hopping onto their shoulders, wrapping her legs around them, and sipping their red-fruit-punch-essence!
Publisher: Oh my god.
Game Designer: Exactly! It's a total redhead simp-fest!
Moxxi: A simp-fest with alluring outfits? Now you're speaking my language, sugar.
Amara: I have six spectral arms to hug people, but arm-blades are an interesting fashion statement!
Maya: A siren's energy is alluring, but this Rayne seems to have a very dedicated fan base already.
Zane: I've got a clone, but I wouldn't mind a clone of this Rayne lass joining the squad!
Gaige: I can build her a giant robot that delivers the aggressive hugs for her!
Claptrap: HELLO TRAVELERS! I AM ALSO A FAN OF ALLURING VAMPIRES, ALTHOUGH I LACK A NECK FOR THEM TO BITE!
Rhys: As CEO of Atlas, I must say her arm-blades are a brilliant piece of proprietary technology! Tell me, is she single?
Fiona: I could definitely con these 1930s bad guys out of all their secret society funding while she distracts them.
Loader Bot: GREETINGS. I ALSO DESIRE TO BE HUGGED AGGRESSIVELY BY THE REDHEAD.
Mr. Torgue: DOES SHE USE EXPLOSIONS TO DEFEAT THE 1930S VILLAINS?!
Publisher: So if she's a vampire, does she have typical vampire weaknesses?
Game Designer: She's a dhampir, so she's half-human! But she does have a weakness to water. If she touches a puddle, her energy depletes rapidly.
Publisher: Oh, so we definitely shouldn't set the entire first act in a giant Louisiana swamp filled with deep water.
Game Designer: Whoops!
Publisher: Whoopsie!
Game Designer: Yeah, I put her right in the middle of a massive swamp. So the aggressive jumping can happen!
Publisher: A very moist environment!
Game Designer: And while she's in the swamp, she also has to deal with these weird mutated insect creatures!
Publisher: Oh, dealing with giant insects sounds terrifying!
Game Designer: Actually, it's super easy, barely an inconvenience! She just does a majestic pirouette and her arm-blades spin around like a ceiling fan!
Publisher: Oooooh, weaponized pirouettes are tight!
Zane: A pirouette that gives aggressive high-fives? I need one for the pub!
Gaige: I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD STRAP BLADES TO DEATHTRAP!
Loader Bot: I AM FULLY EQUIPPED TO PIROUETTE.
Game Designer: And if things get too crowded, she can turn on her special aura vision to see perfectly in the dark.
Evelynn: A girl who can see in the dark? Now that's just unfair to those of us trying to sneak up on people.
Lina: Who needs night vision when you can just illuminate the entire swamp with a giant fireball?
Enchantress: Please don't burn the swamp! It's nature! Sproink!
Publisher: So does she just jump on guys the entire game? Doesn't she get tired?
Game Designer: Nope! The more fruit-punch-essence she sips, the more she fills up her special meter to activate her "Intense Hugging Mode"!
Publisher: Oh my god.
Game Designer: Yeah, everything goes into slow motion and she just gracefully tucks everyone in the room into bed for a permanent nap!
Publisher: A very relaxing rampage!
Mr. Torgue: I AM VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT RELAXING RAMPAGES!
Rhys: If we can patent the Intense Hugging Mode, Atlas stock is going to skyrocket!
Vaughn: Bro! Intense Hugging Mode is the ultimate core workout! Bro!
Lloyd: Wait, did you say her name is Rayne? Like my teacher?!
Raine: I assure you, Lloyd, I do not wear corsets or hop onto the shoulders of bad guys!
Genis: Yeah, Professor Raine prefers dusty ruins to alluring shenanigans!
Zelos: Speak for yourself! I am entirely in favor of this new Rayne! She is gorgeous!
Colette: I tripped and fell into this pitch meeting! I'm sorry!
Sheena: I could summon a spirit to restore order to this room...or I could just agree that this Rayne girl has impeccable style!
Regal: My hands are bound, but I can appreciate her acrobatic kicking techniques.
Presea: This room is very crowded and loud.
Dirk: I'm just a dwarven craftsman, but those arm-blades are fine work!
Noishe: Whines magically!
Jinx: Oooooh! Can the arm-blades shoot rockets?! I want to blow up the swamp!
Publisher: So how does she survive the swamp if she's allergic to water?
Game Designer: Oh, she just leaps incredibly far and uses her aura vision to slow down time!
Publisher: What?
Game Designer: What?
Publisher: Well okay then!
Game Designer: Great!
Publisher: And who are the main villains she's going after?
Game Designer: In the later levels, she goes after "Those Guys" from the 1930s in their secret bases. They are the worst!
Publisher: Fair enough. Do they try to stop her while she's jumping on their shoulders to sip their essence?
Game Designer: Oh no, they mostly just stand there looking confused while she tucks them in for a nap!
Publisher: Very considerate!
Game Designer: It really is!
Publisher: But wait, if she's a secret agent trying to be stealthy, why is her outfit bright red and black leather? Isn't that extremely conspicuous?
Game Designer: I don't know! Hey, shut up!
Publisher: Wow wow wow. Wow. Well, I think an alluring, redheaded vampire leaping around the 1930s and putting bad guys to sleep is going to be a massive hit.
Game Designer: It really is! I can't wait for everyone to completely ignore the main objective just to spin the camera around and appreciate Rayne's unholy hotness!
